Monday, May 18, 2009


Please take a moment to visit here and look around a bit.

Today an email arrived from my agency "sternly yet sympathetically" reminding us that passing court is not a given, that there are many things that can happen to delay, that a case might pass one day and a very similar case may not pass the next. Great timing! Basically, there is no way ahead of time to figure out if you will be passing or not. Recently court dates for a whole class of orphan have been indefinitely frozen. Any child found "abandoned" in Addis are not being adopted as of a week ago. There are concerns about corruption. Too many children being found "abandoned" by the same police officer or in the same location. I'm glad they are aware and looking into this, internatonal adoption needs to be 100% above board. But boy do I feel for the adoptive moms who thought their court date was tomorrow, and now have no idea when they will be picking up their children or IF they will be at all. And meanwhile the child remains at the care center, without parents, as they continue to age.

The email also warned us not to tell the whole world when our court date was "as that will make it so much harder if you don't pass and have to repeat ad infinitum why you didn't pass to everyone you know."

Wellllllll.....*backs away from computer surreptitiously* it's a bit late for that warning for me, innit? What with the countdown contest and all! If I don't pass, I'll have to blog and also verbally tell a hundred people and it will be awful. But hopefully whatever caused the failure will be resolved quickly. Who am I kidding, it will be devastating, but we get through things we have no control over. We have no choice. I'm powerless really. At this point, it's totally out of my control.

Up until now I have been pretty calm throughout this process. I've asked myself if this was a form of denial. But then I'm getting the nursery ready, I'm buying Charlie's clothes, setting up a registry, talking about the adoption to everyone who crosses my path, whipping out her pictures everywhere... So I'm not behaving like I"m in denial. I don't know where the relative calmness comes from, but I'm grateful as I read other PAPs blogs and some sound so worried, anxious, and at the end of their tether with the waiting. If I don't pass though, I do believe at that point I will feel anxious and impatient and sad.

A few days ago, while I was driving to work, I was daydreaming about the moment I get the call from my agency that I passed court. Initial thoughts of the way the message would travel to me: the judge tells my attorney who calls the agency who calls me. A message traveling through the airwaves, cell towers connecting, satellites perhaps, Internet. Good news or bad, it will travel thousands of miles over land and sea (and moutains on both ends) to get to me. How long will it take? Does the POA leave the court room and make calls after each family's case is heard? Or does he wait until the lunch break? And when the moment the news arrives, if it's good news, what would my reaction be?

Having been to film school for undergrad, I often daydream in "scenes", "cuts", "fade to blacks". So here's the scene:

Office, noon time: Phone rings or "You've Got Mail" voice pops up. Listen/read the news, run out into the hallway at work, yell out "I'm a mom!" and doors fly open with colleagues rushing out to congratulate me! There's tears and hugs and then everyone starts dancing and singing:
We go together like
rama lama lama
ke ding a de dinga a dong
Wait, the movie kind of morphed into the ending of "Grease" there! Ok, so it probably won't be quite so.... musical. I'll call my family first, then tell those around me, send off emails, then take a lunch break at the library so I can tell all you readers. I have it all figured out!

So after all that if I don't pass, it will be highly disappointing. But I'm a big girl and I will handle it.

Meet me back here tomorrow afternoon. If I pass, I will post pictures of Charlie!

Final contest question: 10 points, winner announced tomorrow after court. Who sang the line: ""Tonight thank God it's them instead of you" , in which song, and what was the meaning?

Careful, it's a 3 part question :-)

I'm thinking about having another contest where I would tranfer the points of people in the middle now, and let them keep what they've earned so far. What do you think? Interested in playing again?


J-momma said...

Bono sings that line in Do They Know it's Christmas? by Band Aid. i think it means to be grateful we have what we do and are privileged enough to live in this country and have the opportunities that we do. that's my guess. can't wait to see pictures of your little girl and i SO hope you pass court the first time around!

p.s. i just had to go on youtube to watch the band aid video. ahh...gotta love boy george.

Kiki said...

I know it's We Are The World and I'm guessing that the person that sang that line was Bruce Springsteen? And it was for the starving kids in Africa. Oh, shoot, or was it for AIDS? I'll go with my first thought, starving kids in Africa.

Calmil2 said...

Just a quick...Good Luck! I'll be thinking about you :) DId you get the shoes yet?

Michelle J said...

Too funny! This song was in my status update earlier today. Thanks to an 80s quiz, I had the chorus stuck in my head. It's from Do they know it's Christmas and it's Bono who sings it. The meaning? Be grateful for what you have?

Samir said...

Bono sang that line in the song
"Do They Know It's Christmas?" and I've been searching, painfully searching the lyrics for meaning and I'm torn. I've tried listening to his performance but all the YouTube clips are blocked from the UK, so I've been poring over the lyrics and am so torn. It seems just a single line that juxtaposes superficial celebration of Christmas with dismissal of those in need as a call of gratitude to God that those "chimes of doom" are not my Carol of the Bells.

I'm hoping and praying and thanking God that, for Charlie, in 7 hours and change, it is Christmastime in May.

J-momma said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jaime said...

that actually is a good idea not to tell people because after we failed court the first time i heard all the cliches i could stand. but, i never was good at keeping secrets. i'm hoping tomorrow is a great day for both of us!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Bono, in We are the World, meaning, "Tonight thank god it's them going to bed hungry/without presents" instead of you.

Oh wait: I'm getting two songs confused: Do they know it's Christmastime (in Africa) and We Are the World.

New answer: Bono, Do They Know It's Christmas, and it means tonight they'll go to bed without Christmas presents. I think.

Though now I'm doubting myself because why would you write about Christmas time right now????Because that's when you announced the adoption to the family?

I'm overthinking again! Danicuz

Amy said...

Wishing you the best.