This was not Charlie’s first Christmas, but it was her first Christmas with us, her forever family.
I wonder what her mother is doing in Addis? And her brother. I hope they are OK. I have sent pictures and a letter to the address I have for her, but so far have heard nothing in response. I know that Ethiopians celebrate Christmas in January, and Charlie and I will send prayers across the globe on that day.
Back here in the USA, Christmas was joyful.
Much better(in my opinion) than before Charlie's arrival.
The Christmases the past few years have been decent, great, fun, and it’s always nice to spend time with family. But there was something missing. And this year she was not missing. She was very much a part of every moment of Christmas for me.
We made it to family after the snow storm of the decade. Three days late, but still made it safely. We spent our time between two relatives houses. Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day lunch were fabulous. I made a special drink called a “Maple Buttery Kiss” on Christmas Eve that was yummy, or at least I thought so ;-) . My aunt set a beautiful table and the lasagna dinner was delicious.
All the cousins played together and Charlie had a blast. They all went down into the basement at one point, which is a huge basement, very long and perfect for riding toys (such as the motorcycle and car seen in pictures). It was like a small amusement park down there. Boy was it chaotic at moments! Chaotic but fun. Totally out of control. Charlie held her own, but was asleep by 8 PM and slept until 9 AM Christmas morning, that’s how exhausted she was.
Christmas morning we opened presents and for the first time in years, we kept it to a reasonable amount. It still took all day to open them, but at least the adults didn’t get or give many to each other, it was mostly about the kiddos this year. Then we ate and played all day. Perfect. My family embraced Charlie 150%, and she is now going through attention withdrawals because it’s back to just me and her. She loves the 21 person attention-fest that happens when we go home to visit!
This is the Holiday Wrap Up, since I’m not celebrating New Year’s Eve, to my knowledge. I hate NYE anyway, always have. It makes me sad. Sad and usually disappointed. So I’ve just stopped celebrating it, and now that it would cost even more with having a babysitter, it’s not worth it. I’ll just relax with Charlie at home and wish her the best 2010.
The "knock-knock-who's-there?-open-the-door-shut-the-door-do-it-again" game. Christmas Eve I put coils in her hair.
Ice tear, not from unhappiness but from the cold. If you only click on one, this is the one to click on.
Oh yea, back to the door game. This was Christmas Eve. I'll post Christmas tomorrow.
First day, it's still fun and beautiful....
End of first day, trees are starting to look sad.
Umm, yea, that's my driveway somewhere there...
From the article "How To Get Really Happy" by Julia Allison:
"We’re all too quick to “postpone the intense self-examination and decision-making necessary to create a life of enjoyment.” What do we do instead? Distract ourselves with the idea that more money (or losing weight, or getting married) will make us happy.
So what’s the fastest way to really—really—figure out what makes you a happy camper?
Start a list. (Groan) I know, I know. Another list, just what you need. But seriously. You make excruciatingly detailed lists for the grocery store, the IRS, and your wedding. The least you could do is write down a few things that led directly to joy on your part. None of this “the end justifies the means” stuff (you’re not allowed to write anything that “might one day” make you happy. It has to create contentment right then and there.)
And stop with the big things. “My apartment” is too … vague. “My boyfriend” is too general. What about your apartment makes you happy? The way the light streams through the windows at 7:30 a.m.? The fact that you can’t hear your neighbors—ever? Your tiny little balcony, on which you fell asleep last Saturday night, on a blanket, because no chairs fit out there? That’s the sort of thing you should write down.
If you get stuck, think of this very cheesy reminder—Maria in The Sound of Music, singing about “her favorite things.” It seems a bit juvenile, but I promise, as you write down the silly little pieces of life that truly make you happy, I bet you’ll realize you’re happier than you think. And as you do, you’ll begin to notice that happiness is a choice—and it’s a positive feedback loop. As you choose to see the little things that bring you joy, you’ll start to see more of them, which will in turn, make you happier.
I remember reading somewhere that “happiness requires cultivation.” Take the time to cultivate your happiness. After all, what could be more important than that?"
I guess the secret to happiness is doing the next right thing, and an attitude of gratitude for what you already have.
In the spirit of self examination, here are a few things that bring me joy:
- Seeing Charlie wake up (her rosy cheeks, her smile, her bright eyes, her chirpy voice)
- Lying in bed with my three dogs, one behind my back, one with her muzzle fitted onto my side, one by my feet.
- Cooking something I think is turning out great.
- Having a free afternoon with nothing to do but read or waste time on the Internet.
- Watching Charlie form new words (the perfect "circle" of her lips when she says "no-no-nose" and points her chubby forefinger to smoosh her nose.)
- Christmas morning!
What is one of your joyful moments? Why don't you share one thing here and see if you can spread it. I may get some ideas from you.
As parents, we’ve all seen it, our baby slumped and snoozing in their car seat. Head lolling at an unnatural angle and mouth agape. You think, “Aw. Poor thing. They must be so uncomfortable.” You want to fix it. In fact, as their mom (or dad) you are compelled to fix it. You lift their head gently from the side, trying to find the “tipping point” between front and back and side to side. You think you’ve got it. Ahhhh…the head is balanced. Success. Then they wake up and the screaming commences.
The point is, everyday our children are happy. We just don’t know it. So we continue on our quest to make their lives more pleasurable, more comfortable, “happier.” We shift, move, change, sanitize, anticipate and assist them with the hope of making their world a better place. And what do we get for it? Banchee screams and a migraine for our efforts.
The best advice I ever got as a parent and what I'd like to pass on to others: NEVER make a happy baby happier.
And at all costs, avoid the following 10 most common ways parents cause tantrums in otherwise peaceful and content babies or toddlers:
1. Moving your child from the car into the house so they can have a more comfortable nap. Unless you have a kid who is a guaranteed "transferer" let them sleep even if you have to sit in the car with them in the driveway. Or worst case, move the entire carseat with your sleeping child.
2. Changing your child out of a wet diaper in the middle of the night. If the wet diaper doesn't wake them, you shouldn't either!
3. Adding to a picture they're working on...just to make it "prettier" (or neater, or color IN the lines). Step away from the crayons.
4. Paying for expensive seats to a live kids show and insisting they watch every last second of it. Paying for the seats won't affect your kid's happiness one way or the other. Making them sit through the whole show (plus intermission!) - long beyond their attention span to justify the cost will. It's ok to leave.
5. Adding salt, cheese or ketchup to food without asking.
6. Holding onto a baby's pacifier (lovey, favorite blankie, whatever) and insisting you need to take it home to wash it if it's fallen on the ground before returning it. A little dirt never hurt anyone. Abide by the 5 second rule (or stretch it out if need be) and give the precious object back.
7. Fixing their shirt.
8. Brushing their hair.
9. Popping a puzzle piece into place even though your child has been struggling to finish the pretty picture. This could definitely become a "no good deed/puzzle piece goes unpunished" moment.
10. Seeing your pre-school daughter prance out of her room in an outfit worthy of a circus performer and proclaiming, "why don't you wear that nice outfit I BOUGHT YOU." This is tantrum kindling for sure.
I agree with most of these, except brushing her hair. That has to be done, and always brings on a tantrum. There are few things I can do to alleviate the tantrum, especially when I'm alone and only have 2 hands a 3 braids going. DO you agree with all of them? Do you have any to add to the list? Enlighten me!
Last night I had to make the oh-so-difficult decision between “Transgendered and Pregnant” and “My Fake Baby”. Do you ever have those kind of agonizing decisions to make? Well, I do, almost every night. Life is tough without Tivo.
After switching back and forth for a few minutes, the decision was made: “My Fake Baby.”
Have you SEEN this show??? It’s on the BBC channel. http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/336/index.jsp
It’s about women who collect the “reborn” babies, and treat them like real children. The “reborn” dolls look very life like, and some of them breathe, or wiggle. Some have beating hearts. All have tiny veins, soft angora hair, and incredibly baby-like skin (some are mottled, such as the newborns and some have that porcelain pore-less yet downy skin), all have the heft and weight of real babies. One of the womens' grandson had moved across the world and she was so stuck on him, so fixated, that she gave the doll maker pictures of him. On her “delivery day” (yes, they called it that), the day she picked up the doll, she said: “Now, nobody can ever take him away again.” She wrapped him up in blankies and tucked him safely into the car seat (a more expensive brand than mine, mind you, for an inanimate object) while driving off in tears of gratitude. It was sad how obsessed and hurt this woman was, but also highly creepy that a doll could replace her grandson.
Here is a clip
http://www.bbcamerica.com/video/bbca-reveals.jsp?bclid=22160557001&bctid=22212006001 you can watch.
One doll maker shows off her wares at this website http://www.sweetblessingsnursery.com/adoptedbabiesnursery1.htm. Check out how realistic the dolls look. Does anyone think Kennedy Rose is a little scary looking? One thing that creeps me out is that she has pages called “The Labor room” and “Adopted Babies Nursery”. She says “new mommies name the baby”. She writes “I have enjoyed receiving many sweet thank you’s and letters from the forever mummies that have adopted my babies.” It’s all over the top with not being in reality. I wonder if it psychologically hurts the women who buy these dolls as “replacements” for miscarriages or the death of a baby. I mean, it would kind of delay grief, wouldn’t it? If the woman is just collecting the way I collect books, that’s one thing… but to take these dolls out in strollers and bask in the attention of “being a new mom” (as Harry’s grand mom says) is weird. Isn’t it??? It goes without saying: THIS IS NOT ADOPTION. This is buying a doll. For exorbitant prices.
Amazing.
Human kind.
If you are interested in buying a reborn doll, or making your own, you can buy them on Ebay, or buy the kits to make them yourself from here http://reborn-dolls.myauctionlinks.com/?search=reborn+kit&ref=y
Which shows are your secret voyeuristic indulgences? Please tell me! I might be missing something good!
Here is Charlie in her Elmo dress, which I think is so cute.
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