12-27-2008
Apparently 85% of adoptive parents ask for girls when given a choice. This is surprising to me, because, although I also asked for a girl, I thought many parents wanted boys just as much! When I ask bio parents what they are hoping for, invariably they say" either, just as long as it's healthy." Is it possible that statement is not true, at least the "either" part? (And really, would they love the baby any less if it wasn't healthy? I think not.) Maybe 85% of bio parents also want girls but manage to fall in love with their sons instantly anyway... That statistic is apparently true for both domestic and international adoptions. I read hours of a debate on another blog which brought up all sorts of reasons this might be true, from racism, and sexism to really trivial reasons like "We already have girls so handing down clothes makes more sense." Uhh.... there's got to be more to it than that!
Anyway, here's the debate, and the comments, for a lively read on the topic.
This is also a favorite blog of mine because it does make one think these things through a bit more. For example, does specifying gender cause or feed corruption? I had not even thought about that before reading these blogs, but it's a real possibility. There are many more boys in ET waiting to be adopted than girls and the wait time is much shorter, but people (myself included) are willing to wait longer for a girl. Why??
For me the reason is simple: as a single female with no male role model around, I just think I will be able to relate and raise a girl better than a boy. I have no idea how to raise a boy. None. I don't even believe if this was a biological pregnancy that I would be able to produce a son. I think I'm lacking that chromosome. Now know that sounds ridiculous and probably I have all the chromies I need for both genders, but its' so FOREIGN to me that I think it's impossible for me to produce a son.
So those are my reasons and they have nothing to do with racism. Sexism? Maybe, but I don't think so. What are YOUR reasons for choosing or not choosing?
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