Acceptance and Tolerance

During the 6 months "waiting" period (which I realize was much, much shorter than most PAPs have) I did a TON of reading on trans racial adoption, international adoption, black hair and skin care, Ethiopian culture, etc. I even took the MAPP classes that foster to adopt parents have to take in my state.

I was prepared, based on my education regarding the cultural and racial implications of adopting internationally and trans racially, to hear some less than favorable comments regarding the contrasting colors of our skin when we were seen out and about together.

I had some snappy come backs prepared for the times when a comment was made and I was not in a good mood, and some educational speeches for when I felt patient and kind. Although I was not "worried" about hearing comments, I was fully expecting them.

Well, it's been 4 months home and I haven't heard ANYTHING negative. I have not seen ANY "looks", heard any "whispers" or seen any "stares". And I live in The South.

The. South.

I'm kind of blown away, actually.

I had read several places that both African Americans and Caucasian groups may disagree with trans racial adoption, so I was not sure who, if anyone, would be giving me grief or negative vibes. Instead of negative, Charlie continues to stop traffic, but in a good way. Today at the grocery store, a black man walked by and said "Cute baby!" and smiled at us. At the checkout, a group of 5 African American women all commented on her and how precious she looked. They did not seem annoyed or angry that a white woman was Charlie's mom. They did not question how I came to be her mom.

The workers at her daycare (both black and white) have been giving me hair tips and offering to do her hair every day (because mornings are rushed for me and I often only moisturize and not do any puffs) and seem to LOVE her.

We have yet to go anywhere in public where at least one person hasn't stopped to compliment her, or make some positive remark.

We've been approached by the least likely candidates (middle age men and teenagers) to receive smiles and positive comments. No one has asked anything remotely offensive. At Olive Garden the other day, every person who passed us said something and two in a row said "What a happy baby!" because when she smiles, she lights up the room.

Charlie is so special it seems everyone can see that instantly.

(Yea, I'm not proud or anything).

I'm pleasantly surprised. I should have known though, I live in a very accepting community. Everyone who grew up "different" in the South (gay, goth, punk, nerd, etc) heads to my city when they turn 18, for the diversity in arts and music and low key acceptance of anything different. Including different looking families.

I love where I live.

Ever had one of those days.....

Today has been AWESOME so far!

Have you ever had one of those days where everything goes right? You hit every green light, the lines at the post office are quick, everyone is doing a good job at what they do and no one is messing up your files? I usually have the opposite, I'm usually the guy in the shower who wants to kill the yellow freaks in the video above, but not today!

Today is one of the few days when Charlie is in daycare, and I'm off from work. I get about 2 days "off" from being a parent per year, and today is one of them. Well , 8 hours off.

So far, I've been able to accomplish the following (on ONE cup of coffee):

- dress Charlie and myself and drop C off at daycare
- get my car inspected
- go to fire dept. and get the car seat installed in new position
- pick up doggie prescriptions
- grocery shopping
- stopped at specialty store to buy cheese
- unpacked groceries and ate breakfast

All in, can you guess how long this took me???

Wait.....

Take a guess in your head. Seriously, how long would those items usually take?

Ok, ready?


90 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So to reward myself, I'm having a 90 minute massage at 2 pm today.

WHOOP!


And also, today is Beulah's 4th anniversary of being freed from the house she was locked in after Hurricane Katrina. She was abandoned in there for 42 days without food or water. I don't know how she survived, but she did and I'm so glad. So today is her "birthday". She is getting one huge honker of a bone today. Go check out her before and after pictures here.



Happy Birthday Beulah girl! I wuvvvvvv you.

How does one teach kids not to bite?

Charlie's day care worker told me she bit a little boy yesterday, over a toy. The worker explained that she sees this often, and it's because the pre-verbal kids don't have many ways of communicating, and this gets the message across loud and clear: MINE.

She also said she saw Charlie "kissing" the boy, and then he cried, so she believes she bites when she does the open-mouthed kiss (she does, I've experienced it, but no where near every time).

Whenever she bites me (and this is not often) I yell OUCH very loudly and make a pout-ty face and turn away from her. I asked her teacher if there was anything I could do at home to prevent biting at daycare and she didn't really answer me.

She did tell me: "Charlie is VERY SMART. Verrry. Smart." She looked at me over the tops of her glasses then, as if imparting a special message. "She is picking up a lot of things here at daycare... some good.... some.... not so good."

In the Handbook for Parents that the daycare hands out to us, it plainly says not to ask the workers how smart your child is, or ask the workers to compare them to other children. So the fact that her worker said this made an impression.

I felt a swelling of pride (my girl is a FREAKING GENIUS, I KNEW it!) and a sense of dread (Karma is a bitch, Charlie will be payback for all the hell I put my own parents through).

Yikes!

Have any of you readers gone through this biting thing and how did you get it to stop? It's against the rules at daycare and I don't want her to get kicked out! I love her day care!