Thursday, November 5, 2009

Post Adoption Depression Thought for the Day 4: Biological attachment vs. adoptive attachment

Post Adoption Depression: Thought For The Day:

"How come other mothers get to bond instantly? What’s wrong with me???This is not fair. I want to feel that amazing "mother love" too. It would make all the work worthwhile."

Post Adoption Depression Recovery Thought For the Day:

"Bio moms get infused with a bonding chemical at birth. That helps them stay engaged during countless sleepless hours. That hormone is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species… it probably prevented cave women from tossing their colicky babies over a cliff. With adoption, there is no infusion of nature’s bonding hormone in one instant. It takes time. A day by day approachment. I am moving towards Charlie every day. There's no race."


Amy said...

You used CHSFS to bring Charlie home, right? I think you should post these on the new forum.

LegalMist said...

Awesome thoughts.

Also important to recognize that not all "bio moms" bond instantly, either.

You are my new hero, for writing about these issues. :)

Adopting1Soon said...

Hi Amy,
No I used IAG. I did post on CHSFS forums for support though since they made it clear that anybody from any agency could use their forums, and those were the best forums I found.

I would post these there if you thought people would benefit.

Thanks LegalMist, I needed that :-) It's scary to post this stuff out there for the whole world to read.

Elizabeth said...

Sorry I'm a lurker, I googled PAD and here you are. Your words are so honest and they echo what I went through. I keep a blog on PAD now too. Stop by if you like sometime. Otherwise maybe I'll check in on you again.

Adopting1Soon said...


Thank you for finding my blog and commenting and GUESS WHAT????

I JUST put your book on PAD on my Amazon wishlist THREE DAYS AGO.

Is that the weirdest coincidence or what????

How humble of you not to mention your book in your comment. Everyone, Elizabeth wrote a book on PAD and it's called "Don't Call Me Mother" and you can buy it on Amazon.

How cool. Wow. I didn’t know you had a blog. I’m hoping to get your book for xmas :-)


Okay, so now I’ll spend my Friday at work reading your blog ;-)