Friday, October 23, 2009
Is Anybody Reading this blog?
I can tell from the counter that I get about 100 hits a day ( a lot of the hits seem to be folks searching for pictures), but the comments have been lagging of late and so I'm wondering if anyone's still reading or interested in our story.
I'm contemplating ending the blog although that kind of makes me sad, but it's somewhat of a pressure to continue coming up with daily posts if no one's reading. Unlike some bloggers, I don't do this as a diary or for myself as much as I do to share our experiences with others.
A dear friend of mine, one of my main commentators on here actually, has noted a lack of intimacy in the blog modality( and this blog too perhaps) and that is very true. I only post about 5% of what I do or think, mainly for privacy reasons. But perhaps that comes through and feels like "fluff" or "not real"? For example, I struggled with Post Adoption Depression for months and didn't write a word about it due to shame, and the fear that one day Charlie would find it in the archives and think I didn't love her. Maybe I should open up with that type of honesty... the blogs I enjoy are brutally honest. The trouble is, my family and co-workers read this and I am painfully aware of that with each word I write. I don't want to write something that would make my family feel "bad" (like the shower post) or that would paint me in an "unprofessional" light.
So let me know if you are reading. If you are, I'm more than happy, I'd be super happy actually, to continue. But if you aren't.... well, I could publish the bulk of this for Charlie's later years and call it a day. It's certainly been fun and it has been an outlet for emotions even if only 5% of them.