Friday, October 23, 2009

Is Anybody Reading this blog?

I can tell from the counter that I get about 100 hits a day ( a lot of the hits seem to be folks searching for pictures), but the comments have been lagging of late and so I'm wondering if anyone's still reading or interested in our story.

I'm contemplating ending the blog although that kind of makes me sad, but it's somewhat of a pressure to continue coming up with daily posts if no one's reading. Unlike some bloggers, I don't do this as a diary or for myself as much as I do to share our experiences with others.

A dear friend of mine, one of my main commentators on here actually, has noted a lack of intimacy in the blog modality( and this blog too perhaps) and that is very true. I only post about 5% of what I do or think, mainly for privacy reasons. But perhaps that comes through and feels like "fluff" or "not real"? For example, I struggled with Post Adoption Depression for months and didn't write a word about it due to shame, and the fear that one day Charlie would find it in the archives and think I didn't love her. Maybe I should open up with that type of honesty... the blogs I enjoy are brutally honest. The trouble is, my family and co-workers read this and I am painfully aware of that with each word I write. I don't want to write something that would make my family feel "bad" (like the shower post) or that would paint me in an "unprofessional" light.

So let me know if you are reading. If you are, I'm more than happy, I'd be super happy actually, to continue. But if you aren't.... well, I could publish the bulk of this for Charlie's later years and call it a day. It's certainly been fun and it has been an outlet for emotions even if only 5% of them.



Rachel said...

I read it all the time! I mostly don't comment, because I'm not sure what to say or contribute. I really enjoy reading about your life with little Charlie! Please don't go!

P.S. I relate to everything that you've said in this post. People often tell me they read it, but I would never know because no one ever comments! :(

Anonymous said...

I read your blog and I love hearing your adventures. You have a beautiful little girl and are soooo blessed. I look forward to reading more and more and I'll try to post a comment now and then.

Jai :o)

Anonymous said...

Im a reader (lurker) but not a commenter. I found you over at CHSFS forums and reading your blog although not posting helped me during the wait for my two girls who I am now home with. I still continue to check it daily and love reading your new posts.

OUR STORY said...

I am a daily lurkers(reader) but not commenter. I found you by way of the CHSFS forum and read your blog everyday during the wait for my children. Even though I am home with them now, I still come back everyday to see if you have posted anything new, I love reading about you and Charlie.

christall said...

I think that's SO common... I often forget what I've posted and then get caught off guard when someone mentions something I've written.

Keep writing! I'm pretty open on my blog, but there are some things that are best kept private, you know... It's a personal decision that only you can make.


Calmil2 said...

I'm here too :) I would like to hear about the post adoption depression because I can see that being a possibility for many adopting parents.

Gregory and Tegan said...

I'm here! Along with a few others I know of who love following along on your journey.
I, too, struggle with blogging about the emotional stuff - I just don't feel comfortable going into detail about certain feelings. So I understand. Finding that balance between sharing glimpses of what you are feeling/going through and spilling your guts can get tricky. :)
Please don't go.
Sorry for lurking and not commenting. I'll change, I promise. ;)

Anonymous said...

I read regularly, but I don't comment. I'm a few years ahead of you in child-rearing so I'm not currently going through the same stages as you as a mom. I just really like reading your story and think Charlie is adorable. I hope you continue blogging as long as it fulfills you. I know the thrill of comments, but dang it ...100 hits a day is great!

reino said...

I read it. take that for what it is worth.

LegalMist said...

If you're getting 100 hits a day, then it's clear a lot of people are reading your blog! Also note, the statistic about how long people stick around isn't an accurate indicator. Apparently, folks who read through Google reader show up as on the site for 0:00 minutes.

And, 100 hits a day would mean you're doing way better than an awful lot of bloggers out there.

I get around 40 hits a day, which is twice what I was getting a few months ago, but with no increase (possibly even a decrease) in the number of comments.

I think the more we read, the less time we have to comment on things.

I check in often. I enjoy your blog. Sometimes I read it in Google reader. Other times I stop by. But I almost never comment, either because I'm reading a lot of awesome blogs and feeling "in a hurry," or because I can't come up with anything witty, profound, or otherwise "worth" saying.

I do love hearing about Charlie, and about you, though. I hope you don't quit writing.

But, that said, you should keep blogging only if you are getting something out of it.

Do you like what you write?

Do you like the idea of having an online journal to look at later (or for Charlie to look at later?)

Do you enjoy the writing process?

What *do* you get out of it?

I wouldn't recommend sticking with it just to get comments.

But if it's the writing, or the having an online journal, or the blogger relationships you're enjoying, then enjoy them, and don't worry about the numbers so much.

I hope you'll stick around. But don't do it for me. Or for any other commenters (frequent or otherwise). You have to do it for you.

Just my two cents.

(Another option, if you're feeling stifled by knowing that all your friends and co-workers are reading, would be to start a new, anonymous blog, and send email invitations to your commenters / readers who are not friends / co-workers, to follow you over there. Then you could vent about
work or whatever without fear.

But, as an anonymous blogger myself, I can tell you that sometimes I wish I had the network of friends reading and commenting. It might be more fun that way. :)

Have a great weekend! And I hope I'll be able to read something new on Monday!

Cathy said...

I'm here too :) Just haven't had a lot of time for comments lately. I don't get a lot of comments lately either so I often wonder. I also relate in that my family reads my blog too so I don't share everything as I know they are reading.

I love reading about Charlie, the dogs and your adventures together.

kmr said...

I read your blog. Don't stop posting. I may not comment but your posts are interesting. Most of the time I am at work reading and shouldn't be. (LOL)

Amy said...

I also read regularly but comment rarely.

Anonymous said...

I love to read your blog, and I would be sad if you stopped writing about your life with your gorgeous little daughter. I hope you can keep it up as long as you can.

Sarah said...

I love reading your entries, mainly because its the easiest way for me to keep up with the goings on since you brought Charlie home.

I admit to not commenting much as I'm a new mom myself and honestly, what the heck do I know?

Rachel said...

I read too!

Single PAP said...

i'm reading it, too, of course. keep blogging! i would like to read more about your personal life though.. how you are adjusting as a mom, things charlie is learning, things specific to you. but i understand if that's not the path you want this blog to take.

J-momma said...

i'm reading, i'm reading. well, when i can. sometimes i have to catch up on a few posts all at once. keep going if you love it. who cares if anyone reads it? i don't think many people read mine but i have fun doing it anyway.

Kiki said...

I hope you don't stop. I read your blog religiously and I feel like I'm keeping in touch with you that way since I often don't have time to call you to catch up. I love it! Please don't stop. I'm sorry that you feel you can't write some stuff because family will see it, since I'm family. Anyway, I hope it continues but I understand if you no longer have the time for it.

Anonymous said...

Hey there! I read it all the time as well...I love your commentary and love how you present things, with humor and insight. As another adoptive parent from the same agency you used, I read to not only share in your joy but also to learn more about what I need to be preparing myself for. And your dogs are great, too. :)


Anonymous said...

I read your blog every few days. I don't like to make comments for everyone to see and read.
I would be very sad if you stopped writing. You have a special gift for writing and Charlie will love it when she grows up.

Leesavee said...

I read you all the time, dear!

eihpets said...

I enjoy reading your blog when I can and apologize for not chiming in regularly! Your blog is so helpful for me as I'm starting my journey to adopt as a single person. If you enjoy the blogging, please continue! If it stops being fun, save it, print it and go out and play with Charlie. I'll be happy that I've been able to share your experiences.

Anonymous said...

This is a wonderful blog. My husband and I are starting our family's Ethiopian adoption adventure. I stumbled onto this blog while looking for more personal stories about ET adoption. Your voice is clear and the links are invaluable. I just told my husband we will be reading your blog together- you bring up all adoption issues in a respectful and holistic way. I know when we read this blog we will have better conversations that will prepare us to be the best possible parents for our maybe baby too. THANK YOU!