Saturday, October 10, 2009

How does one teach kids not to bite?

Charlie's day care worker told me she bit a little boy yesterday, over a toy. The worker explained that she sees this often, and it's because the pre-verbal kids don't have many ways of communicating, and this gets the message across loud and clear: MINE.

She also said she saw Charlie "kissing" the boy, and then he cried, so she believes she bites when she does the open-mouthed kiss (she does, I've experienced it, but no where near every time).

Whenever she bites me (and this is not often) I yell OUCH very loudly and make a pout-ty face and turn away from her. I asked her teacher if there was anything I could do at home to prevent biting at daycare and she didn't really answer me.

She did tell me: "Charlie is VERY SMART. Verrry. Smart." She looked at me over the tops of her glasses then, as if imparting a special message. "She is picking up a lot of things here at daycare... some good.... some.... not so good."

In the Handbook for Parents that the daycare hands out to us, it plainly says not to ask the workers how smart your child is, or ask the workers to compare them to other children. So the fact that her worker said this made an impression.

I felt a swelling of pride (my girl is a FREAKING GENIUS, I KNEW it!) and a sense of dread (Karma is a bitch, Charlie will be payback for all the hell I put my own parents through).


Have any of you readers gone through this biting thing and how did you get it to stop? It's against the rules at daycare and I don't want her to get kicked out! I love her day care!


Anonymous said...

Nicholas is going through/went through the same. Swift response to any biting is what they suggested and what we've done. It has helped, though they say it's a phase many kids go through. If Charlie is very smart, she may start talking sooner and won't need to? For Nicholas, we immediately say NO! and put him in his crib (or any isolated place; I hate to use the crib as punishment--it's own set of problems--but he seems to realize it's the separation, not the place, that's the punishment.) It seems to help; he seems repentant afterward. Danicuz

Leesavee said...

I just remember one of my co-workers bringing a note in that her son's daycare teacher had written: "H. bit a friend today"...then "a friend" was crossed out, then 2 friends was crossed out, then 3 friends was crossed out. "H. bit FOUR FRIENDS today," was the final tally.

He did grow out of it! There is hope!

Kiki said...

Anders is going through the same thing right now and Matthew did too. I was always a little embarrassed when I'd pick him up and they'd tell me and then a little smirky when they said someone bit him for a change. They all do it. They won't kick her out for it, don't worry, and she'll outgrow it.