Saturday, July 4, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
To Addis and Back (Part 6) Visiting Charlie's "orphanage"
On our last full day the traveling families got to go and see the care center where our children had spent the last months, or in some cases years. I left Charlie with my mother for several reasons: 1) I didn't want Charlie to think she was returning to the care center for good. 2) I didn't want her to see her main nanny and have to go through a second seperation trauma. 3) My mother had already been to the care center in March so didn't need to go see it again. I'm glad I made this decision, as other families/parents brought their kids along and it was unsettling to see their reactions. I think they all survived it with minimal scars, but I'm just glad I left Charlie with mom. Plus, it gave them a chance to bond a bit, and surprise, surprise, when I'm not around, she is perfectly happy to spend time with her grandmother!
We took a rickety old van on unpaved roads for 30 minutes outside of Addis, passing typical sights of the 3rd world... a skeletal cow grazing on mud (poor thing) on the highway curb, a man lying on the sidewalk either dead or asleep (with 100's of people walking by not giving him a second thought), people in rags squatting on the sidewalk over a kettle, mother's breastfeeding naked babes while sitting on the curb.....
Finally we drove up to the IAG care center gates and the driver honked. The gates opened and the nannies and kiddos were all waiting for us! They were so happy to be reunited with their charges and friends. The kids all gave us the three cheeked kiss in welcome (they do it silently, more like a cheek touch rather than a kiss, while I did it the American way and made MWUAH sounds which got the kids giggling and imitating me ;-)
We saw the infant room where Charlie spent her first 9 months. It was clean and there was no smell at all. The nannies were delighted to meet me once they heard I was Worke's mom. They were also very grateful for the pictures of her I passed out to everyone. The nannies were awesome. They were so loving with the infants, and picked them up the second they started crying.
We were taking so many pictures of the children (for waiting families at home) that it seriously looked like Brad and Angie had stepped out on the red carpet at Oscar time. The babies looked a little shell shocked from all the flashes, but they were resilient and survived the onslaught.
Some of the waiting families had sent over photo albums with us to give to their waiting kids. I took video of several children thumbing through their albums with wonder at seeing their new mommies and daddies and sisters and brothers faces. Upon return I uploaded the videos online for the parents to see, with about 400 photos.
A sound of Ethiopian music drifted down from upstairs and a little boy invited me to come up, so I did. I walked into a room of older kids who had spontaneously started dancing around in a circle! There was an Ethiopian music video playing on the TV, and the kids, ranging in ages from 12 to 4 were dancing in the Ethiopian style, shimmying their shoulders and making jerky motions. They invited their audience to join them and some some of us were in the circle, looking ridiculous, but having fun with them :-) Then I played games with a couple of them, blowing in their ears and making them giggle.
We had a traditional coffee ceremony, which produced such dark coffee that my throat felt like ash the rest of the day!
After that we said our goodbyes. The kiddos gave me heartfelt MWUAHS! all the way to the gate. It was a great day. I was happy to see how joyful the children were, considering their circumstances.
I have a ton of great pictures of this day, but I cannot post them as they are of other families' children.
We took a rickety old van on unpaved roads for 30 minutes outside of Addis, passing typical sights of the 3rd world... a skeletal cow grazing on mud (poor thing) on the highway curb, a man lying on the sidewalk either dead or asleep (with 100's of people walking by not giving him a second thought), people in rags squatting on the sidewalk over a kettle, mother's breastfeeding naked babes while sitting on the curb.....
Finally we drove up to the IAG care center gates and the driver honked. The gates opened and the nannies and kiddos were all waiting for us! They were so happy to be reunited with their charges and friends. The kids all gave us the three cheeked kiss in welcome (they do it silently, more like a cheek touch rather than a kiss, while I did it the American way and made MWUAH sounds which got the kids giggling and imitating me ;-)
We saw the infant room where Charlie spent her first 9 months. It was clean and there was no smell at all. The nannies were delighted to meet me once they heard I was Worke's mom. They were also very grateful for the pictures of her I passed out to everyone. The nannies were awesome. They were so loving with the infants, and picked them up the second they started crying.
We were taking so many pictures of the children (for waiting families at home) that it seriously looked like Brad and Angie had stepped out on the red carpet at Oscar time. The babies looked a little shell shocked from all the flashes, but they were resilient and survived the onslaught.
Some of the waiting families had sent over photo albums with us to give to their waiting kids. I took video of several children thumbing through their albums with wonder at seeing their new mommies and daddies and sisters and brothers faces. Upon return I uploaded the videos online for the parents to see, with about 400 photos.
A sound of Ethiopian music drifted down from upstairs and a little boy invited me to come up, so I did. I walked into a room of older kids who had spontaneously started dancing around in a circle! There was an Ethiopian music video playing on the TV, and the kids, ranging in ages from 12 to 4 were dancing in the Ethiopian style, shimmying their shoulders and making jerky motions. They invited their audience to join them and some some of us were in the circle, looking ridiculous, but having fun with them :-) Then I played games with a couple of them, blowing in their ears and making them giggle.
We had a traditional coffee ceremony, which produced such dark coffee that my throat felt like ash the rest of the day!
After that we said our goodbyes. The kiddos gave me heartfelt MWUAHS! all the way to the gate. It was a great day. I was happy to see how joyful the children were, considering their circumstances.
I have a ton of great pictures of this day, but I cannot post them as they are of other families' children.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
And the world breathed a sigh of relief...
Ok, so maybe THE WORLD didn't breathe a sigh of relief, but I sure did!
We are finally home. Time to pick up the dogs at the kennel and see what happens......
The dogs were so INSANE with happiness to see me that they were completely uncontrollable at the kennel, jumping on everyone and the kennel tech couldn't really keep them controlled with a leash. I had a momentary twinge of fear at how they would react to meeting Charlie after watching their exhuberance. They were jumping 15 feet in the air! Ok, maybe 3 feet, but it seemed like it was really too much energy.
They also STANK to high heaven of urine, so the first step was to bathe all three of them. Then, once they were clean and relatively calm, one by one we introduced them to Charlie. I held her on my lap, as per Dogs and Storks class, and allowed them to sniff her ankle to start. Mostly they could not have cared less... they were more interested in saying hello to me again. Eventually I allowed them to sniff her arms and hands and seeing that they were calm and non-threatened, her face for a second. Charlie was pretty intrigued by the three dogs though, and followed them around with her eyes and tried to reach out and pet them. I'm already started with the "gentle touch" and preventing her little fingers from curling into a grasp and pulling (like she does with my hair!).
We bought some gates today and I already have crates. Basically I think it's going to be an exercise in chaotic crowd control until Charlie grows older or one or two of the dogs passes away. I plan on having a "dog zone" and a "baby zone" so the dogs can relax and not have to worry about being poked, and the baby can wreak havoc in her own area without eating too much fur.
Here's hoping for a peaceful co-existence.
P.S. Please excuse my disgusting-ness. I had just finished bathing 3 large dogs and had some spit up on me as well.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
To Addis and back (Part 5) Donations
Happy 10 month Birthday, Charlie!
Before I start his post I'd just like to thank the AP community (and others) who posted comments on the last thread regarding Charlie's *separation anxiety*. I found them truly helpful. And the fact that EVERY SINGLE comment gave the same suggestions made for a powerful and persuasive lobby. I had, of course, read all about attachment parenting, and knew in theory what to do... but in real life, with Charlie here in front of me and the theories not... plus being swayed by parental advice (even though they are great parents they have never parented an adoptive child as many of you pointed out)... Well I needed you readers and forum members to remind me of the months of studying I had done previously to bringing Charlie home. So I went back to 100% being there for her and not trying to sneak out the room for a bathroom break or whatnot. Although my back is killing me (spasms), she had a much more pleasant afternoon and evening and I did too. She didn't cry AT ALL (because I never left her side) and laughed and played a lot more than she had been. So thank you all for taking the time to respond. Back to the trip journal:
DONATIONS:
.
We brought 4 suitcases of donations for various orphanages. My belief was that my agency care center most likely did not need all 4 suitcases, as every few weeks a new influx of American parents arrive with donations, and I was right. The day we visited her care center, there was a whole courtyard full of suitcases filled to the brim. They are well supplied with diapers, formula, clothing, shoes, medications, etc.
So instead of leaving all 4 with the IAG care center, I did some research ahead of time and my mom asked her Ethiopian friend to do some research as well. We came up with AHOPE
and Mary Joy Aid Through Development as needy organizations that do awesome work.
Each place got a suitcase full of kid's clothes, medications, and jewelry (the edible candy type!) Even the boys enjoyed the candy bracelets! Here are some pictures.
I was not able to go to the orphanages, and deeply regret that. I needed to stay with Charlie, as this was the day she was dropped off at the Guest House. There was no way I was leaving her after waiting all these months to meet her, and she was traumatized and needed to stay put. I know in a general sense what these orphanages are like, having been to several in the past, and worked at one in Bolivia for a summer. Still, I felt sorry I could not go to these, but we can't always go to everything we want to in life. Luckily my mother could go in my stead., She was especially impressed with MJATD, which is not an orphanage, but does outreach in the community regarding HIV/AIDS education and does aid HIV positive kids (just doesn't adopt them out) through community programs. It was started by a Sister named Zebider Zewdie. My mother was very impressed with that program. The website is www.maryjoyusa.org or www.maryjoyethiopia.org
Before I start his post I'd just like to thank the AP community (and others) who posted comments on the last thread regarding Charlie's *separation anxiety*. I found them truly helpful. And the fact that EVERY SINGLE comment gave the same suggestions made for a powerful and persuasive lobby. I had, of course, read all about attachment parenting, and knew in theory what to do... but in real life, with Charlie here in front of me and the theories not... plus being swayed by parental advice (even though they are great parents they have never parented an adoptive child as many of you pointed out)... Well I needed you readers and forum members to remind me of the months of studying I had done previously to bringing Charlie home. So I went back to 100% being there for her and not trying to sneak out the room for a bathroom break or whatnot. Although my back is killing me (spasms), she had a much more pleasant afternoon and evening and I did too. She didn't cry AT ALL (because I never left her side) and laughed and played a lot more than she had been. So thank you all for taking the time to respond. Back to the trip journal:
DONATIONS:
.
We brought 4 suitcases of donations for various orphanages. My belief was that my agency care center most likely did not need all 4 suitcases, as every few weeks a new influx of American parents arrive with donations, and I was right. The day we visited her care center, there was a whole courtyard full of suitcases filled to the brim. They are well supplied with diapers, formula, clothing, shoes, medications, etc.
So instead of leaving all 4 with the IAG care center, I did some research ahead of time and my mom asked her Ethiopian friend to do some research as well. We came up with AHOPE
and Mary Joy Aid Through Development as needy organizations that do awesome work.
Each place got a suitcase full of kid's clothes, medications, and jewelry (the edible candy type!) Even the boys enjoyed the candy bracelets! Here are some pictures.
I was not able to go to the orphanages, and deeply regret that. I needed to stay with Charlie, as this was the day she was dropped off at the Guest House. There was no way I was leaving her after waiting all these months to meet her, and she was traumatized and needed to stay put. I know in a general sense what these orphanages are like, having been to several in the past, and worked at one in Bolivia for a summer. Still, I felt sorry I could not go to these, but we can't always go to everything we want to in life. Luckily my mother could go in my stead., She was especially impressed with MJATD, which is not an orphanage, but does outreach in the community regarding HIV/AIDS education and does aid HIV positive kids (just doesn't adopt them out) through community programs. It was started by a Sister named Zebider Zewdie. My mother was very impressed with that program. The website is www.maryjoyusa.org or www.maryjoyethiopia.org
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