Wednesday, June 10, 2009
As I pack and get ready to bring you home, I've been thinking about all the fun things we are going to do together, but also about all things I need to do for you. I'm imagining what type of mother I will be, and how I will accomplish the goals I have set for myself. I don't have it figured out yet, and I may never figure it out. So far, this is what I've got: I promise to give you all the "regular things" parents give their kids such as food, medicine, hygiene, protection, school, encouragement, comfort, cuddling, playtime, and a reliable schedule.
I also promise some unique things, just between you and me, our little twosome:
You will get to go back to Ethiopia with me one day.
We will play and eat with other Ethiopian adoptive families as often as possible.
You will never be the only child of color in your school.
I will read you a story as part of your nightly routine.
I will offer you the freshest, non-refined foods I can find.
I hope to teach you to recognize and cope with your emotions.
I will learn to make some Ethiopian dishes for us to enjoy.
I will learn to do your hair in ways that make you feel pretty.
We will honor your birth mother on Mother’s day and many other days.
I will offer you my support in dealing with any adoption issues or grief you may experience.
I will not expect you to fulfill all the goals I haven’t gotten around to fulfilling yet.
I hope to be a feminist role model, meaning an independent woman who is able to take care of herself, have a career, and have loving relationships.
I will give you choices in daily life, and even allow you to make mistakes. If you make big ones, I will stand by you as you fix them.
I will not rush you into growing up, and not infantilize you once you do.
I will validate your feelings.
I will allow you to explore your independence (although I may be holding my breath the whole time so please be quick about it and get it over quickly!)
I promise I will not use my saliva to clean your face.(Unless it’s an emergency and no one is watching.)
I won't be perfect in any of these pledges, but I will do my best.