As soon as I walked into Charlie's daycare room I knew something was wrong. The assistant director and her teacher were kneeling near her chair, into which she was strapped (like a high chair).
She had a bad biting day.
The Assistant Director looked so forlorn.
She almost had tears in her eyes.
She said: 'We all love Charlie so much.... "
I asked Charlie why she does this and of course she can't answer. She knew she was in trouble and we were all concerned. She started crying in such a pitiful way, the kind of crying that is real, that has hiccups and trembling bottom lips being sucked in and out. The Assistant Director looked at her, then at me, shook her head and looked so sad.
She reiterated that an action plan will be started tomorrow. I asked what that was, exactly, and she said she didn't know, and the Director would explain (the Director is away this week).
I brought some ideas from the comments, like moving Charlie to a room with older kids. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELPFUL COMMENTS. We are also going to try an hourly behavioral chart for a week and see if there is any point to it, or if she is too young. Because although she is 18 months, she is very precocious and I think an hourly reward MIGHT be enough for her to pay attention. The Assistant Director listened and will bring all the ideas to the Director tomorrow. Tonight I will make a chart and I'll bring stickers and LifeSavers tomorrow as rewards.
The Assistant Director said she didn't know what was in an Action Plan because the school had never had to use one before. I replied: "Wow, Charlie is the WORST kid in the ENTIRE SCHOOL???"
And she said: "Isn't it funny, she's the one we love the most... I'm not suppose to have favorites, but she is definitely my favorite. She's Whitney and Gabby's (her teachers) favorite too."
I said:" Hmm... I guess some folks burn brightly at both ends, like an absent-minded genius or a depressed artist... Charlie is the most lovable biter."
They freed her from the chair, which is being used to hold her when they can't hold her hand or watch her closely. She ran into my arms and sobbed into my neck like her little heart was breaking.
My poor girl. She just doesn't understand what's she's doing wrong.
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4 comments:
My boy has consistently been the loudest child in every class he's been in, and he alternates between being the teacher's helper and the teacher's nightmare. Often, he is simply too enthusiastic, gets excited and wound up, and things go wrong. Then he gets nervous, tries to make things right by entertaining everyone, and makes things worse. It's like an awful spiral. And it makes picking him up in the afternoon really nerve-wracking.
I bit when I was small. My mother bit me, and apparently I stopped biting.
The biting back thing is disturbing, but damn, it seems to work wonders.
Here is an article that I thought raised some good points;
1. Don't show emotion after beeing bitten. If she bites you you shouldn't do the fake cry thing or spank her. (I didn't know that and tried both of those too)
2. Never bite back.
3. Have the child help comfort the bitten child.
http://day-care-behavior-issues.suite101.com/article.cfm/controling_bitiing_in_daycare
You may find this website to be helpful. It's about attachment parenting but also talks about things like tantrums, & behavioral issues. Good luck.
http://www.theattachedparent.com/
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