tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post7276439873950484470..comments2023-04-06T07:26:09.995-04:00Comments on Ethiopian adoption journey: Biting. Again. And Again.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-3400180743056741802010-02-26T10:53:18.345-05:002010-02-26T10:53:18.345-05:00Dear, I've read up since I have no real life e...Dear, I've read up since I have no real life experience with this yet, and my favorite response so far has been to identify the triggers of the behavior and remove her from a situation that will escalate into a bite.<br /><br />We wuv you M, chin up!!!Sarahhttp://batduck.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-49603352156021167002010-02-25T17:55:07.109-05:002010-02-25T17:55:07.109-05:00I taught toddlers for years. And biting (while a h...I taught toddlers for years. And biting (while a huge concern) is so common for kids her age. Every room has a "biter" and except for a couple extreme cases they all grew out of it - especially as vocabulary developed. <br /><br />Biting was usually done because:<br /><br />the child was in some type of power struggle and this was the way to "win".<br /><br />the child was frustrated and biting releases a lot of tension.<br /><br />the child was teething and it just feels good to bite.<br /><br />the child is hungry.<br /><br />If you are worried about her being kicked out, ask the teachers how long the "action plan" will be in place for and if it does not accomplish anything, what is the next step?<br /><br />I agree with Calmil2. Bring in your own form and make them sign it. It gives the control back to you as the parent.<br /><br />abbyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-68574226380594569402010-02-25T14:14:36.177-05:002010-02-25T14:14:36.177-05:00One of my brother's was a biter. One day my mo...One of my brother's was a biter. One day my mom bit him back...not as hard as he was biting, but hard enough to get his attention. He never bit again.<br />It's not a do as I say, not as I do kind of thing. It's a "see what it feels like to be biten" kind of thing. Of course, I guess it depends on a child's ability to empathize too. <br />I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. You're not alone..so many kids bite and the ones that don't bite have something else that needs to be dealt with.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12753456278195418985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-44323424513762220682010-02-25T08:33:02.464-05:002010-02-25T08:33:02.464-05:00As everyone already said, they all do it. Matthew...As everyone already said, they all do it. Matthew did it until almost age 3! I think the way it stopped was he was put with older kids, like J-Momma suggested. The older kids "fight back" a bit and may push her off of them if she comes close and is heading in with fangs drawn. :-) Of course, then you'll go from the problem being biting to the new problem of pushing and hitting but they're all just stages. She'll grow out of it. <br />I think they have to write a report on it each time for legal reasons. I don't think it means they are trying to expell her. You should ask.<br />Good luck and don't let it get to you. They'll do things at every age that'll make you cringe a bit.Kikihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18376321490170753344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-11252250849376743212010-02-24T22:46:04.217-05:002010-02-24T22:46:04.217-05:00I just started following your blog and look forwar...I just started following your blog and look forward to reading back on your adoption journey. My husband and I are in the beginning stages of looking into Ethiopian adoption. Any advice, etc. would be greatly appreciated.<br /><br />Christie<br />http://satisfactionthroughchrist.blogspot.comAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15955682726148579441noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-34431929210980186522010-02-24T22:42:16.871-05:002010-02-24T22:42:16.871-05:00A book that might help (I found out about it in my...A book that might help (I found out about it in my adiotuib trainging) is 1-2-3 Magic..... by Thomas Phelan. It deals w/ controlling obnoxious behavior and encouraging good behavior. Hope this helps.I's momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05878032412097964079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-35018209143266611462010-02-24T21:56:15.452-05:002010-02-24T21:56:15.452-05:00We had the same problem with Nicholas. His teacher...We had the same problem with Nicholas. His teachers were concerned but said it's the age--they just do it. We would put him in the crib as soon as he bit and he hated not being mobile, so he knew that he had been "bad." It seems to work for awhile but then he occasionally relapses. He has mostly outgrown it, but I agree that it helps to prevent it in the first place (like stopping a fight over a toy because he might bite to get his way). Hang in there: hopefully it's just a phase and will pass. I would find out from the school, though, why they're doing this action thing and what the consequences might be...<br />I didn't bite him back, though apparently that's what my dad did to me and it worked...dcuzAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-71219575621281547012010-02-24T20:47:20.787-05:002010-02-24T20:47:20.787-05:00just my personal opinion but i think she's too...just my personal opinion but i think she's too young for a behavioral chart and delayed rewards. i don't even know a three year old who would get that. i worked in daycare. all the kids bite. yes, some more than others. but they aren't trying to be bad. they just don't have the words to express their frustration or emotion. sometimes they do it because they like the reaction they get. there's all sorts of reasons. in all my years in daycare i've never seen anything work other than just growing up. but it is annoying to deal with. some daycares will take younger kids who bite or hit and put them with a slightly older group of kids. that tends to end the problem. you have nothing to feel guilty about. it's a completely normal part of development. you haven't done anything wrong. give her lots of words to communicate different feelings. and tell the daycare to "stuff it" if they give you a hard time. all the kids do it whether they tell you or not. maybe they want you to feel guilty so you take her out yourself. who knows. but she will grow out of it.J-mommahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08752445363877406264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-43889294549588030982010-02-24T19:55:40.100-05:002010-02-24T19:55:40.100-05:00i don't have any suggestions, but i do sympath...i don't have any suggestions, but i do sympathize with the "having behavior problems with your toddler" part. my own daughter has me at my wits end at the moment with her screaming tantrums. one lasted 4 hours last night. good luck!Nobodyhttp://nobodysnothings.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8454146351199191506.post-55377378165066666922010-02-24T18:46:11.739-05:002010-02-24T18:46:11.739-05:00So, do you know the "A,B,C" approach? B...So, do you know the "A,B,C" approach? Basically it is trying to figure out why she is biting and what she gets out of it. You can actually come to the school with your own form and ask THEM to sign it :) When she bites they need to write down what was happening right before she bit. Then tell what was the consequence. Did she get the toy? Did she get to see another kid cry? Did she get someone to react? Did it feel good to her (could be a sensory reason)?<br />Then I would suggest trying to distract her when you know the bite may come. If she bites and waits for the reaction you try hard to not react. Just turn your back and go do something as if it didn't happen.<br />My son was a biter and it drove me CRAZY. The only thing that works was distraction, no reaction and time. E-mail me if you want to talk about it more.<br />Harmony<br />calmil2@yahoo.comCalmil2https://www.blogger.com/profile/04068152719411366584noreply@blogger.com